Silent No More- Chapter Two

Chapter Two

She wondered momentarily if she should stop somewhere and clean up the mess he had made of her face...but she knew it was only wasted time. She could put on all the makeup she could find but it wouldn't cover up the bruises he had put on her body...the black eye...the scars forever burned into her soul.

With tears in her eyes, she continued down that dark road, thoughts of the life she left behind burning in her aching flesh.

"Matthew...Matthew no...Matthew"

"Let him go Nora...you lost custody...let him go," Sam said, as he ripped the child from her arms.

"You are a monster, you know that? What kind of man uses an innocent child to get back at his mother...all because I...I never loved you...You aren't a man at all...You make me sick."

"I hope that thought keeps you warm at night...because you will never see your son again...never..."

"I hope you Rot in hell, you sick son of a bitch."

She looked him dead in the eyes right before she slapped him hard across the face...She managed a quick kiss on the baby's head before Sam headed towards the door...leaving her running after him screaming..."Don't take my baby...please...please come back...Matthew...Matthew, baby, I love you...don't forget that...please..."

But he never heard her...he was just a baby and he would never remember her...All she could do was sink down to the floor of her too big house and cry. She had lost everything on that day.
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Bo was just coming around the corner of the police station when John pulled him back. "Agent McBain," he said, showing him his badge. "We need to talk."

"Can this wait...I Need to find my ex wife...It's important."

"She'll be here soon...She's my partner."

He could feel the color drain from his face. He hadn't seen her in over ten years and during that time, she had become an FBI Agent. How much more was he missing from her life?

"Follow me," he said, and they walked into his office and sat down to wait. Bo wouldn't tell John about the phone call he received...at least not until he could see for himself that she was alright. John wouldn't tell Bo a thing about Nora's life in the last ten years...not without her permission. So instead, they simply sat in silence. Both of them had Nora on their minds.

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She walked in an hour later, and they both stood. She acknowledged John with a half smile and he pulled her into his arms for a hug.

"What happened to you Sparky...Did...did he do this to you?"

She could feel the tension in the room as she pulled away...she didn't want to admit to anything here...not in front of her past.

"By he, is he talking about officer Perry," Bo asked, looking right at her? She avoids his eyes and doesn't really respond to his question.

"How do you know Commissioner, "John asked? "Did something happen?"

"The Chicago police are looking for her...I told them to give me twenty four hours to handle it...Apparently she shot him."

"Is that true...Did you shoot him...after...after he did this to you?"

She felt so light headed that she had to grab on to the chair before she collapsed. Bo handed her a glass of water as she sat.

"I don't see you for ten years and it doesn't even warrant a hello...I'm hurt," he said.

"Hello Bo...Better now."

"Not Particularly...why don't you tell me how the hell you wound up in so much trouble...You're not going to be much good to us if you wind up behind bars...or worse."

"He's right Nora," John said. "You are on shaky ground right now with the bureau. You need to give us something to work with."

"You want something to work with John? You want to dissect my life," she cried..."Here's the sad truth...I was stupid okay...plain and simple. I thought he actually cared about me. I thought he was different. Just like every other man in my life, I was dead wrong...this time it almost killed me for real."

John was handing her a box of tissues and trying to soothe her but all Bo could do was stare at her. He hadn't seen her in over ten years and yet...even with the scars on her body, she still looked the same...exactly the same as when she left...Beautiful. He couldn't stop himself from asking, even though he knew he shouldn't.

"Are you saying you were wrong about me too Nora...Can you honestly stand there and put us all in the same category?"

"Maybe I can...Maybe I think men are all the same... stop...stop looking at me like that okay...just stop."

"I can't help it Nora...you still look the same...How is that possible...how can you still look incredible...don't you ever age?"

"I don't want to talk about this Bo...we have more important things to discuss..."

"Oh I don't know...maybe we should talk about the reason you are still so bitter...it can't be healthy for our case...or you."

"I'll be right outside," John said quietly. "Talk to him Nora. You know you need to."

After John closed the door, Nora turned towards Bo, still shaking.

"Bitter...you want to talk about why you think I'm bitter...now why on earth would I be bitter?"

"Nora..."

"Okay so maybe I am bitter...maybe I do lump you in that category with all the men who have ever let me down over the years. But you'll have to forgive me if I don't particularly like the stuff that I see in the papers...You decided that our marriage wasn't worth fighting for...(Putting a hand up to stop him from speaking)...and yes I know all about what I did...you haven't let me forget that...but what about what you did...are you ever going to take any of the blame? Sometimes life isn't as cut and dried as you make it seem Bo...You can't wrap it up in a nice, neat little package and put all the blame on me...you had a role in it too...and I am so sick of men just dancing around what they really mean...Do you have any idea how many lives you destroy when you don't follow through?"
"When did you suddenly become so cynical? "

"Oh gee, I don't know...maybe it was between the time you threw me away like yesterday's garbage and when you hopped in the sack with every blond bimbo you could find...starting with Lindsay...or hey...maybe it was when I lost custody of my son...but you probably find that to be some kind of karmic justice right...that kid...the problem that wrecked our lives...Congratulations Bo...You win...I lost everything."

"This isn't a game Nora...and believe it or not, It doesn't make me happy to know that you lost your son...I know how that feels...I would never wish that on anyone..."

"It doesn't much matter what you wished for does it...because Sam and his ridiculous lawyers got the whole world to paint me out as some … what’s the term they use nowadays… a slut, a whore. Take your pick because I can guarantee you that it wasn’t as bad as what they said in court. And at the end of the day what did that all add up to? That I wasn’t fit to raise my own kid.

" But why? Why would he do that to you? "

" Why not? I left him. I didn’t want to have a relationship with him after you left me. I guess he was just taking his revenge on me because I never loved him… I never wanted him… and I sure as hell didn’t want a life with him. Then again, in this town, who really needs a reason right? I was the town pariah for slandering the great Buchanan name. Why do you think I left? I didn’t want to stick around and give everyone in this Godforsaken town the chance to break me. I didn’t want to have to pretend that I didn’t know when people were talking behind my back. And believe me Bo… I knew. There were whispers. There were crude jokes. Hell I almost lost my job because of it. Who would be stupid enough to stay where you’re not wanted? Where everyone you used to know… who used to respect you… love you… where they all treat you like garbage… like you have some sort of virus that they don’t want to catch. You know me better then that? Scratch that… You used to know me...You don’t know me at all anymore. But you don’t have to worry Bo… as soon as this case is over, I’ll be out of your hair. I’ll go back to living my life from coast to coast and you can go back to doing whatever it is you’re doing these days. "

"I want to help you Nora...please...let me help you."

"You can't help me Bo...It's too late for that...Do yourself a favor and forget about me...Who wants to be saddled with damaged goods?"

She walked out his door to join John and he couldn't stop the sadness that overcame him. What the hell had happened to the woman he used to know? When had she started to hate herself so much?

"What aren't you telling me Nora? It can't just be because we didn't last, can it? I didn't do this to you did I?"